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Thread: joke of the day!

  1. #1
    Rookie stevewonders's Avatar
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    joke of the day!

    So I get home this morning and my dog is laying on my porch covered in snow and mud and has a rabbit in his mouth. He's not bloody, just dirty.
    Now, my neighbors raised these rabbits for 4H and have blue ribbon winners. I instantly knew it was one of theirs. So I get the rabbit away from my dog, I take it inside, wash all the dirt off and before my neighbors got home I took it over, put him back in the cage and went back home.
    Not 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming, so I go out and ask them what's wrong?
    They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in the cage.
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    Someone once said I look like a pepper pot , I said thank you very much I’ll take that as a condiment!
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  3. #3
    GT3 Pilot morpwr's Avatar
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    Now that got a laugh out of me!!!!

    All I can think of is I wonder if they saw the movie Pet Cemetary?
    Last edited by morpwr; 08-01-2019 at 12:31.
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    WMD Member pippinfort's Avatar
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    I do hope this doesn't offend any of my european brethren. :-)




    A German guy approaches a prostitute.

    "I vish to buy zex vit you"

    "OK" says the girl, "I'll charge £50 an hour".

    "Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky".

    "No problem", she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky". So off they go to the girls flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs". The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees.

    "Now you vil get on your hans und knees".

    She duly does this, balancing on the springs.

    "You vill please blow Zis vistle as I make love to you."

    She finds this odd, but figures its harmless, and the guy is paying. The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duckcaller. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say:

    "That was totally amazing, what do you call that?"

    "Ah", says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique!"
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  5. #5
    WMD Member Invincible's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pippinfort View Post
    I do hope this doesn't offend any of my european brethren. :-)




    A German guy approaches a prostitute.

    "I vish to buy zex vit you"

    "OK" says the girl, "I'll charge £50 an hour".

    "Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky".

    "No problem", she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky". So off they go to the girls flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs". The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees.

    "Now you vil get on your hans und knees".

    She duly does this, balancing on the springs.

    "You vill please blow Zis vistle as I make love to you."

    She finds this odd, but figures its harmless, and the guy is paying. The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duckcaller. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say:

    "That was totally amazing, what do you call that?"

    "Ah", says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique!"
    I lol'd
    It took a while to get it, but it's amazingly funny in a stupid way.



    No. Not really. I'm offended in mei German preid and I will exterminate you and wipe you from ze face of ze earth!

    But I'm confused. I tought as a German I'm supposed to have no humor?
    Last edited by Invincible; 08-01-2019 at 13:55.
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  6. #6
    Moderator Sankyo's Avatar
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    Pronouncing "durch" as "duck" was a bit far-fetched for me, but anyway You'll have to admire a stretching of imagination of the joke's creator to come up with this sillyness...
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  7. #7
    WMD Member Christiaan van Beilen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Invincible View Post
    I lol'd
    It took a while to get it, but it's amazingly funny in a stupid way.



    No. Not really. I'm offended in mei German preid and I will exterminate you and wipe you from ze face of ze earth!

    But I'm confused. I tought as a German I'm supposed to have no humor?
    Well, my grandmother is German and certain jokes indeed fly over my head. Yet plenty of German family members love to joke around, so it's not like I can agree with zero humor.

    It was a nice joke though. Although as said... durch and duck are quite different in pronunciation. Still love the joke nonetheless. Gave me a chuckle.
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  8. #8
    WMD Member satco1066's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by morpwr View Post
    Now that got a laugh out of me!!!!

    All I can think of is I wonder if they saw the movie Pet Cemetary?
    OMG, i feel so old.

    Long before the movie, i read the book. Printed on paper. Remember anyone?
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  9. #9
    GT3 Pilot morpwr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by satco1066 View Post
    OMG, i feel so old.

    Long before the movie, i read the book. Printed on paper. Remember anyone?

    I was waiting for somebody old enough to know what I was talking about.lol What was that late 80s?
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  10. #10
    WMD Member satco1066's Avatar
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    91. My first King in a long row
    Every car could be a race car, as long as you have the balls to drive it like that !

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